if i open my mouth please stop me
people who laugh so hard at their own jokes that they can’t even finish the joke because they’re laughing so hard are my favorite kind of people
always ask a snail where they are going and if they need help getting there
i said a swear once and next thing you know i was doing meth
I took a shit in my grandma’s cat’s litterbox when I was like 13 and my whole family was wilding out trying to figure out why the cat took such a huge dump. Then they took her to the vet and we found out she has feline HIV so in a way, I helped her.
this story was wild from start to finish